Part 2: Six Strategies to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

In Part 1: Understanding Impostor Syndrome and The Five Types of Impostors, I covered: 

• The definition of impostor syndrome
• Who experiences impostor syndrome and how common it is
• Dr. Valerie Young’s five types of impostors
• How impostor syndrome negatively impacts your life

Now, let’s talk about what to do about it!

I use the word “overcome” in the title of this article. To overcome means “to get the better of” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary) or “succeed in dealing with” (Oxford Languages). You will note that neither of these definitions says anything about getting rid of something. 

I’m sorry to say I don’t know if you can ever completely eliminate impostor syndrome. At the very least, I haven’t found a way. 

However, even if you can't get rid of it forever, there are strategies for changing the experience of impostor syndrome.

You can turn impostor syndrome, which impacts your daily life and decisions, into what Dr. Young describes as impostor moments, which happen but then pass; they are not primary drivers in your life.

The goal is to become a recovering impostor. Here's how!

Six Strategies to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

1. Build awareness: Notice when you feel like an impostor

The first step to overcoming anything is to name it and notice when it’s happening.

Try to identify under what circumstances you feel most like an impostor. 

You might be able to narrow it down from the definitions of the impostors from Part 1. Are you a

• Perfectionist
• Superhero
• Natural genius
• Soloist
• Expert

...(or some combination!)? 

Maybe you feel like an impostor in a meeting when you are afraid to raise your hand because you don’t want to look stupid. Or a position opens up that you want to apply for, but you don’t hit every item on the list. Or maybe you don’t join a team sport because you can't be sure you will be perfect at it. Or maybe you often work all weekend because you want to be seen as highly committed to your job.

What comes up?

2. Gather evidence: What does the data tell you?

If you can’t think of specific examples, try doing a daily reflection for a few weeks. Take a couple of minutes each day to look back: Did you have impostor feelings? What was happening?

What does the data tell you?

A significant part of impostor syndrome is making assumptions about what other people think and believe and dismissing your accomplishments as luck. There are all kinds of stories you might tell yourself, like:

• I got lucky
• They are just being nice
• I am not qualified
• I’m not as good as they think I am

Collect evidence to challenge your assumptions and the stories you tell yourself.

• Are they true? Or are they feelings you are experiencing? 
• Are your assumptions and decisions based on data? Or are they based on fear? 

You can even add sections to your daily reflection to: 

• Track and measure accomplishments. What are you doing well? What steps are you taking to move towards your goals? What goals have you reached? 
• Gather praise. When someone says something nice, compliments your work, or acknowledges something you’ve done, take a screenshot, add it to a folder, or note it in your reflection.

How many times can you see evidence that you are, in fact, smart and capable before you need to adjust your thinking?

Consider what you know to be true, not what you think to be true.

3. Evaluate expectations: What are your expectations vs what is reasonable?

For the perfectionists out there, trying to be perfect, wanting things to be perfect, and waiting for the perfect time to do things… all make for a whole lot of disappointment.

• You are not and will never be perfect (but you are still pretty great!).
• There will never be the perfect time (so why not now?).
• Things will never be perfect (but they can still be good).

The expectation of perfection often turns into: 

• Beating yourself up for not knowing how to do something or not being skilled at something immediately.
• Prevents you from trying new things because you are afraid of not being perfect at them immediately.
• Endless procrastination because the perfect time never arrives.

When you step back and think about what you expect of yourself and the situations around you, can you honestly say that you are being reasonable and realistic?

Remember that expertise takes time to build. Some things will come more easily to you than others, but you can learn almost anything. And it’s in our mistakes that we learn the most. 

Before you start a project of any kind, think about:

• What do you need to get to for it to be considered “good enough”? 
• What is the point at which putting in an additional effort doesn’t change it in a meaningful way?
• What is reasonable for you to know, given your life experiences?
• Would it be ok if you were bad at it? What are the real consequences?
• What could you be doing instead of trying to make something perfect?

4. Gain perspective: Look for inspiration

People with impostor syndrome tend to compare themselves to everyone else and feel inadequate. They look at other people's accomplishments and assume they are more deserving, have worked harder, and that it's impossible to measure up to them.

But consider this: 

• What if everyone doubted themselves at some point? 
• What if everyone struggled or had a hard time?
• What if everyone had countless failures (on the path to their successes)?

If you feel a certain way (unsure, frustrated, struggling), is it possible that others have felt the same way?

Two mental shifts to reset your perspective are:

• Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides
• Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle

You are not often privy to all the trials and difficulties someone has faced to get where they are. You also don’t necessarily know where they started, what privileges or connections they had, or what helped them along their path. 

Remember, the things others share are often only a page in the novel of their journey. 

Instead of looking at others to compare (and worry that you are wanting), look to others for inspiration.

• What can you learn from their experience? 
• What about their accomplishments are you interested in or attracted to? 
• Can they help you on your journey?

5. Nurture openness: Talk about it!

Impostor syndrome is a very inward-facing experience. It’s all the internal anxiety and fear of being discovered and the jerk voice in your head that tells you all the ways you are not enough.  

A good way to shut that voice up is to share your feelings with others. As I mentioned in Part 1, if up to 84% of people experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives, chances are someone you trust has experienced it or still does today. Talk about it! 

One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and others is openness. Talking about your experience with impostor syndrome normalizes it and makes it feel less all-encompassing.

Especially if you are in a leadership or mentorship position, you have an opportunity to build significant trust by sharing your experience. Most people are afraid if they ask about their performance because they are worried their fears will be confirmed. Even when they get positive feedback, it often fails to ease the feelings of fraudulence. Hearing that a mentor or leader has experienced impostor syndrome can help relieve those feelings.

Knowing you are not the only one experiencing those thoughts and feelings makes you (and others) feel less alone and makes the impostor feelings easier to manage.

6. Cultivate compassion: A little self-kindness goes a long way

Consider that if you experience impostor syndrome, it means you feel deeply about doing well at something, and you respect and admire the accomplishments of those around you. Neither of those are bad things; they only become bad when they hold you back from your own joy, success, and achievements.

Instead of focusing on all your fears, think about how to use them to learn and grow. Give yourself the space and grace to experience them, but also look at them curiously. Fears and anxieties are data that tell you more about the things that matter to you. What can you do with that information? 

Also, consider how you talk to yourself versus how you speak to people you care about. Think about the words you use and the things you say. Try to apply the kindness you extend to others to yourself.

Changing from an impostor life to impostor moments

As I mentioned at the start of the article, I’m not sure you ever eliminate impostor feelings. However, you can shift from experiencing impostor syndrome all the time to having what Dr. Young called impostor moments.

Dr. Young framed this change as follows: 

“Recognizing and talking about impostor syndrome is a great start, but you can’t share your way out of it—not completely. You need to change how you think. There are lots of people out there who don’t feel like impostors, and they are no more intelligent or capable than you; they just think different thoughts. And this is great because it means all you have to do is think like non-imposters.”

How hard could it be?😅

No one likes to fail, make mistakes, not know the answer, have an off day, or struggle to master something, but when these things happen to people with impostor syndrome, they tend to experience shame. 

But what if you aren’t perfect, make mistakes, and are bad at some things? And all of those things are okay?

Non-imposters know they can’t be amazing at everything, and they’re okay with that. You need to pay attention to the conversation in your head so you can reframe it like a non-imposter would. Experiment with the strategies I listed above. Challenge your thoughts and feelings. Consider what’s true and what’s reasonable. 

Over time, the conversation in your head will start to change, and you can shut up that jerk before it gets too loud. And when you do, you can stop trying to overcome impostor syndrome and instead use reframing to talk yourself down faster. 

Instead of having an imposter life, you can have imposter moments and become a recovering impostor!

If you need help starting your journey to becoming a recovering impostor, get in touch!