How to Motivate Yourself To Do A Thing You Don't Want to Do

We have an air bike in our basement. If you are unfamiliar with air bikes, they are similar to stationary bikes with foot pedals but also have handles you push and pull with your arms. It uses air resistance, so the harder you pedal and move your arms, the higher the resistance. 

It’s also known as an assault bike. 😬

Which is apt, because it’s a butt-kicker of a workout. I use it about once a week, more frequently in the winter when it’s too cold to run, and less often in the summer when I can get outside more. And I kind of hate it!

Before I even drag myself to our basement, I’m already dreading it. The only way I can convince myself to do it is by finding a suitably engaging show I can distract myself with on my phone while I huff and puff. 

Every time, I start my warm-up and think to myself,

“It’s only 30 minutes, I can do this!”

Like clockwork, within the first three minutes, I think, “Maybe I will only do ten minutes today and do some pilates or weights instead.”

After ten minutes, I think, “OK, surely I can make it to 20 minutes, and that will be enough”.

After 20 minutes, as I gasp for air and sweat soaks through my shirt, I think “Well, I already made it to 20 minutes… I guess I will just finish it.”

And then I proceed to huff and puff to the end, wherein I walk my wobbly legs back up the stairs to do a cooldown. At which point I think, “That suuuuuucked…” And then congratulate myself on finishing as I try to get my heart rate back to normal. 🥵

This mental dance happens, without fail, every single time I ride. 

I share this anecdote because it illustrates how tricky motivation can be, especially when faced with something you don’t want to do or have been procrastinating on. There are any number of things you have to deal with in your life that you don’t want to. There are even things you might generally enjoy that feel like they are hanging over you. 

The pattern often goes like this:

• Before you start, it feels daunting, and the prospect lingers in the back of your mind. You know it needs to be done, but you really, really don’t feel like it. You leave it until it starts to loom larger and larger.
• When you finally convince yourself to start, it’s not what you want to be doing, but it’s generally fine. It’s often not even as bad as you thought it would be, and it feels good to make progress.
• As you near the end, you can even push yourself a little to wrap it up and get it off your plate.
• When it’s over, you feel relieved, like a weight has been taken off your shoulders, and you are both pleased with yourself and a little annoyed that it took you so long to deal with.

Sound familiar? 

Motivation is a topic that comes up with nearly all my clients, as they navigate the various complexities of their lives. In some ways, motivation seems simple. You ask yourself, “Why can’t I just make myself be motivated to do the thing?”, whatever the thing might be. However, as you beat yourself up about it, consider that many factors influence our decision-making and the feeling of being motivated.

Humans are complex creatures, with numerous brain chemicals and hormones influencing our overall physical and emotional state, which themselves are constantly impacted, sometimes drastically, by things like:

• Have you been sleeping well and enough?
• Have you been eating well and the right amount for you?
• Have you been imbibing in alcohol or other things?
• Have you been moving your body regularly?
• Do you have any physical or mental conditions?
• Are you in pain?
• Do you have significant life stressors at this time?
• What time of day is it?
• Where are you in your natural hormone cycles?
• How old are you?
• Have you had any conflicts in your life recently?
• Did you move your body in a way entirely within your usual routines, but apparently in a way that is no longer acceptable? 
• Did you sleep in a slightly different position than usual, and now your back will never be the same again?

I could go on, but you get the idea.😅

All of these factors (and more) conspire to shift your mood, physical energy, and mental energy, often making it harder to muster the motivation to do things. What, then, can you do to move things in the right direction? How do you motivate yourself to do a thing you don’t want to do?

Here are several ways to help encourage action when you feel unmotivated. 

1. Think about why you are feeling unmotivated

There are many external and internal factors, as listed above, that contribute to motivation. 

• When your body isn’t feeling good, it’s harder to make it do things. 
• When your mind is tired, distracted, or overwhelmed, it’s challenging to focus and accomplish tasks. 
• When the thing you need to do isn’t important to you or something you don’t like, it’s hard to make yourself do it.

When you know why you aren’t motivated, you can think about what you could change to make things easier on yourself. What factors do you have control over? 

• Environment - Is there a place you can go or a thing you can add that will make it feel easier? For example, I have my writing desk set up in a quiet corner of my bedroom (not the office I share with my husband) to help make writing easier, even when I am not feeling it. 
• Mood - Is there something that will help boost your mood? Go for a ten-minute walk, treat yourself to a donut, text your best friend for a pep talk, turn on your favourite tunes… anything that will give you a little pick-me-up.
• Body - Are there things you can do to take care of your body to make it feel better? Try some stretching, take a nap, meditate, read a book, get some fresh air, go for a run, eat a comfort meal, or do anything that will help your body feel less stressed.
• Negative or fear motivators - Is the thing you are not motivated to do being motivated by negative or fear motivators? These include things like fear of judgment, fear of conflict, shame, guilt, or obligation. These motivators only go so far and deserve further examination to determine their place in your priorities. Maybe they aren’t things you need to do in the first place.  

The key point here is to identify where you have control and where you don’t, and then do your best to adapt your circumstances to make it easier to take action.

2. Identify what does motivate you 

When you think about the various activities and tasks you do each day, what is it that encourages you to do them? Some of those things will be negative motivators, as I mentioned above, but others will be things you do for fun, because they are interesting or rewarding. These are some tactics to consider for things that might help motivate you:

Combine the task with something you enjoy

You know what makes cleaning out the garage a lot better? Some good tunes. Throw on an audiobook while you cook dinner. Watch a good show while you huff and puff on the air bike! Think about the things you enjoy and consider how you can combine them with the thing you're trying to motivate yourself to do.

Add external accountability

Sometimes it can be challenging to push yourself to do something when there are no external motivators. Ask a friend to be your accountability buddy, or hire a professional to help you stay accountable for the thing you're trying to do, such as a coach, trainer, teacher, or dietitian. I know that one of the significant value-added benefits my clients get from working with me for a few months is having someone they have to report back to on their progress!

Gamify

Is there any way to turn the process or thing you are unmotivated to do into a game? Can you add rewards if you do a certain amount, or set a goal for how many days you make progress in a row? For example, one of my motivators for doing some kind of fitness every day is keeping up my streak! 2817 days in a row as of publishing. 😁

Celebrate milestones

Beyond small planned rewards, having something to look forward to as you make progress on your task or activity can also help encourage you to continue moving forward. Maybe you take a day off, order your favourite takeout, or simply share it with someone you care about. 

For more specifics on types of motivation, read my article, What Motivates You? Learn the Types of Motivation and How to Use Them, where I get into more detail about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.

3. Break it into smaller chunks

If part of why you feel unmotivated is that what you need to do feels big and overwhelming, often the best thing you can do is try to break it down into smaller, more manageable pieces. What is the smallest amount you can do to make a bit of progress?

• Commit to spending 5 minutes on it
• Choose a small corner of a room you need to clean
• Commit to writing the outline
• Write the text, even if you don’t send it
• Plan in your calendar when you will do it, so you don’t have it sitting in the back of your mind
• Talk about it with your partner or a friend
• Switch tasks to take a break and come back to it

Often, getting over the hump of starting something is enough to help push you through it. Even if it isn’t, at the very least, you have made some amount of progress, which you can build on. 

4. Consistency over motivation

If the thing you need to do is something you need to do regularly, like writing, fitness, practicing an instrument, or cleaning, you can’t rely purely on motivation to drive you. Even for things you enjoy, it’s easy to push something off “until you feel like it”. But with so many factors affecting your mood and energy, the times when you feel like it will be fleeting. Instead of relying on motivation, try to establish a routine that fosters consistency. 

• Plan your intentional week so you have an idea of when you intend to do it
• Set a daily reminder
• Book it in your calendar
• Set a certain amount of time you will put aside each day or week to chip away at it

A little bit, consistently, will go a long way.

5. Put it on the back burner

Sometimes, when you are not feeling motivated to do something, it’s reasonable to just put it on the back burner. Maybe it’s just not a priority right now, and that’s totally fine! Ask yourself, is this a glass ball or a plastic ball? If it’s plastic, set it aside for a bit and focus your time and energy on other things.

It's ok to decide now is not the right time, but make it an intentional decision instead of something you avoid and feel bad about!

If you're struggling with motivation, you're not alone! It’s normal, it’s natural, and there are tons of different, ever-changing factors that will change how you feel. Do your best to examine where you are at, control what you can control, and make progress where you can!

Need some help getting motivated? Get in touch!