5 Ways For Introverts To Keep Their Social Battery Charged

I could feel my blood pressure rise as soon as I entered the crowded, echoing room.

It was so loud I got the haptic tap of a decibel warning on my Apple watch and knew I’d need to yell to be heard over the din. I stuffed my gloves in my pockets and slowly unwound the scarf from around my neck while I got my bearings. Before I even had my coat off, I was spotted by a few people I knew and stopped several times for brief small talk before finally making it to the bar. 

Fortunately, one of the people who stopped me was handing out drink tickets, and even better, I could order a Dark and Stormy. I took a sip and enjoyed the spicy mix of ginger and rum as it warmed my chest.

Cocktail in hand, I made my way to the name tag table and wrote my name as neatly as possible with a black marker. I pulled my hair to the side and slapped it above my heart, knowing the sticker would almost certainly get caught in the strands and more than likely end up on the floor. 

I carefully avoided eye contact with certain people while scanning the room for familiar faces. Close talkers, braggarts, and the especially long-winded needed to be avoided. With a deep breath and rueful inner smile, I waded into the fray towards a friendly acquaintance.

Over and over, I went through the predictable dance of an enthusiastic greeting, slightly awkward hug, or deliberately calibrated handshake while attempting not to spill my drink. The dance was, without fail, followed by one of “How’s business?”, “How are things?” or “What’s new?” and the requisite battle for who was busiest would commence.

I gave the same brief spiel over and over, which I nearly perfected into a scripted bit by the end of the evening. My voice is naturally pitched at a level where it disappears in loud rooms, so I tried to keep the conversation focused elsewhere, lest I have to repeat myself to be heard over the cacophony. 

I politely clapped and chuckled at the right moments during the blessedly brief formal program. When it was over, I resolved to stick around a bit longer, determining it would be rude to exit immediately after the speakers finished. As everyone dispersed into small groups, I spotted a few people I knew and joined the circle halfway through a story about a lawsuit.

It was not all bad, of course. 😆

The event was well-planned, and the program was casual and entertaining. I made some excellent touchpoints with potential leads for my consulting business. I chatted with several lovely people I hadn’t seen in a long time, and it was nice to connect with them, even if only briefly. Once the worst of the pleasantries were dispensed with, I really was interested in what they were up to and how they were fairing. 

On my way out, I was stopped multiple times by people I had yet to chat with, and it took almost an hour to leave. After a few more hugs, handshakes, and dubious promises to get together for coffee, I made my escape. The cold air was bracing after the stuffy heat of so many bodies.

I sped and walked to the sanctuary of my car, heels clicking rapidly against the asphalt as my breath came out in white plumes. The hum of traffic was abruptly cut off by the muffled slam of my car door. I took a moment to revel in the quiet before starting it up and blasting the heat. I slipped on my glasses, texted my husband to tell him I was on my way, and drove home in blissful silence.

I was glad I went, but also glad it was over.

The life of an introvert

Have you noticed networking events are... not my favourite? 😬 I’m honestly not that big on parties either, for the same reasons listed above. They often feel like a performance where I don a costume of slightly uncomfortable clothes and a mask of polite interest. Small talk hurts me a little.😅

I am more likely to want to hide out with the resident cat than meet someone new. In fact, whenever my husband can’t find me at a party, he knows to go in search of the resident pet. I don’t like crowds; they’re too loud and chaotic. I’ve been known to hide in a bathroom for a few moments of peace at large gatherings. The larger, more boisterous the group, the quieter I tend to get. 

It’s not that I’m unsociable. I love getting together one-on-one or in small groups of friends. It’s not that I’m shy or awkward; I can fabricate small talk with the best of them and work a room if needed. Hell, public speaking is part of my job. It’s just that socializing takes a lot out of me, and I need long stretches of quiet alone time to recharge my social battery.

I am an introvert. 😁

5 Ways for Introverts to Keep Their Social Battery Charged 

Of course, everyone is a little different. Introversion and extroversion are spectrums, and the level of social interaction you enjoy and how it makes you feel varies widely. Some people are more like me, with low social stamina, while others are the opposite and feel invigorated by large groups and lots of action. 

It can be tricky for us introverts. Being introverted doesn’t mean you are shy, awkward, or don’t like others (though it can!), but it does mean that “peopling” often takes a lot of effort. You need to be thoughtful about your interactions and pay close attention to your social battery, or you will end up completely drained.

If you can relate, here are five ways for you to keep your social battery charged.

1. Listen to your body

Over the years, I’ve learned the signals my body sends when I’m nearing the end of my social battery. My ears get plugged, and my already quiet voice gets even quieter. I start to feel tightness at the base of my skull, my head starts to feel heavy, and I find it hard to focus on conversations.

My husband says he always knows it’s time to take me home when my shoulders start to curl inward, like my body is moving into a defensive position from too much socializing.😅

Pay attention to how your body feels during and after different social interactions. Think about the times you’ve pushed too hard and felt unwell after. 

What signals does your body send you when you start to fade? Make sure you listen to them!

2. Learn your limits

These signals are my inner introvert telling me, at first quietly and then more insistently, that she’s done. The longer I ignore these signals, the more vengeance she takes on me. If I overdo it, the best case is I crash and feel utterly exhausted the next day. Worst case, I get a migraine and am out of commission for two or three days.

It’s like when you start to feel your shoe rubbing your heel. If you keep going without putting a bandage on it or stopping altogether, it will eventually become a blister. Once it’s a blister, it takes much longer to heal than if it was just a little tender. 

Learn your limits and respect them.

• How many meetings can you have in a day before you are completely drained?
• How many social events can you have each week before you start to feel unwell?
• What about all the other regular interactions you deal with each day?

When you know your limits, you can do your best to set boundaries around what you agree to so you don’t burn your inner introvert out. For example, consider your existing commitments and keep them in mind when you decide to take another meeting or meet a friend for dinner. It’s okay to say no or not now and push things further out!

A good way to be conscious about not overbooking yourself is intentional calendar management!

3. Know your energy givers (and energy vampires!)

There will be people in your life who fill you up and others who drain you.

Energy givers tend to recharge you and make you feel good. They are likely the people with whom you have a strong foundation of trust and are at your most natural. When you are at large events, find these people!

Energy vampires, on the other hand, might be someone who is boisterous and loud to someone with whom you have a challenging relationship. While you probably can’t avoid them altogether, pay attention to the signals your body sends as you interact with them and try to keep it to a minimum.

Learn who is who and do your best to plan accordingly! 

4. Have an arrival and exit strategy

If you know you will be in a situation that will likely drain you, consider your arrival and exit strategies. 

• Can you arrive early when it will be less busy and you can have more intimate conversations?
• Will there be energy givers there to hang with when you need a bit of sanctuary?
• Can you leave a little early when you start to feel yourself fading?

Sometimes, it’s impolite or not possible to leave an event, like a wedding or large family gathering. In these cases, don’t be afraid to take a break somewhere quiet. Step outside, take a short walk or find an empty or less crowded room (cats optional but preferred). I highly recommend the o’l hide in the bathroom trick.😄

5. Plan recharge time

When I have an upcoming event or interaction that I know will be particularly intense, I plan recharge time in the day or two afterward. I intentionally reduce my commitments, be they business meetings or other social engagements, as much as possible. I will put a “DO NOT BOOK” note in my calendar as a reminder to take it easy and plan to do things that I know will recharge me or at least won’t drain me further.

Where you can, say no to things, don’t book too many things back-to-back, and leave yourself space and time to recharge.

I know that if I push myself to socialize too much, stay out too late, too long, and with too many people, it kicks my ass. I end up exhausted and feel unwell. What it comes down to is I have to be conscious of what my inner introvert tells me, or I will suffer the consequences.

The key to keeping your social battery charged is to listen to your body and pay attention to the things that drain you. When you know the signals and situations, you can be intentional about how you react and plan for them.

What do you do to keep your social battery charged?

If things are feeling overwhelming and you need help to calm your chaos, get in touch to learn how I can help.